


Red and Black

by sansss_starkk



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, High School, Jon Is Not A Stark, Pining, Slow Burn, Super super extremely the slowest of burns, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, You Have Been Warned, i dont know what this is, just kiss, mentions of abuse, minor character relationships, sansa and jon are annoying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-09
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-10-07 10:22:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17364197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansss_starkk/pseuds/sansss_starkk
Summary: Sansa Stark is only twelve years old when she realizes she is head over heels in love with Jon Snow, except Jon Snow cannot know how she feels because that would be just so embarrassing for her and for him and she would die if he ever found out.Or how Sansa realized she was in love with her brother's best friend and Jon was completely oblivious to her feelings for years until he realized what was going on until it was too late.





	1. Red

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone. So I attempted to add another chapter to my other WIP, but this is what came out instead. I've been feeling quite nostalgic of my youth and couldn't help myself. I'm a terrible writer and I have no one editing this except myself so bare with me yall. Anyway, this is just for fun but I do hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think? It's probably a story that's been done to death but this is my take on it so maybe it'll be okay!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So if you're a new reader, thanks for checking out my story! If not then I just wanted to let you know I am editing the story a bit. I've aged up Sansa a year when I realized her age didn't coincide with her year at school. I also gave the story some geographical context because I had left it all pretty vague when I started but now that I'm further in, it's getting harder to keep it all together.
> 
> Basically it's modern Westeros if Westeros was a state in America. Think of it like a California or a Texas if you will. So like, Winterfell is a city and if you had to give the location like we do here it would be like Winterfell, Westeros, America like Austin, Texas, America. City, state, country. I hope that clears it up a bit. I didn't want to fully submerge the characters into a modern setting and leave where they're from behind? If that makes sense. I hope it does. Let me know if you find any inaccuracies in the story, I would greatly appreciate it as I'm the only one writing, reading, and editing this so bare with me yall!

If there was one thing that Sansa knew for certain, it was that she wanted Jon Snow, but he did not want her. So two things. She knew two things. 

You see, Jon Snow was three years older than her, two and a half years if you wanted to be nitpicky, and also her brothers best friend. Well, second best friend, or first? Her brother had two very close friends and Jon was one of them, and Sansa had had the hugest crush on him as long as she could remember. 

When she had just turned the tender age of twelve, she was going through that period in a girls life where she was slowly becoming a woman, blossoming like a flower. Well, that’s what her mother had told her when she woke up and found her sheets and underwear stained red. Next thing she knew her face sprouted with zits, hair was growing in all sorts of places, and not to mention she was starting to smell. Combine that with the fact she needed braces and she could yet find a hair product to tame her frizzy red hair, well, she wasn't the most confident pre-adolescent girl.

Step in Jon Snow. 

It had been an awful day for Sansa. She had tripped in gym class and had busted her top lip between the floor and her new braces. Her mother had brought her home after Sansa tearfully pleaded for her to do so and had gone to the medicine cabinet to get an ice pack and pain relievers for her when Sansa turned the corner into the living room and there sat Jon Fricken Snow. 

He turned to her and gave a little smile and wave. Sansa felt her face turn beat red because she knew she looked like a mess. Her shorts were rumpled, her shirt stained with blood, and her was face swollen.

"You alright?" he asked when he noticed her appearance. She nodded and kept her distance by the entrance of the living room, ready to bolt if something else more mortifying were to happen.

"Sansa, I couldn't find any Tylenol but I did find your extra strength Midol so that should help, especially with the cramps you mentioned you had." Catelyn had handed over the items and turned to Jon while Sansa wished she could disappear into the floor.

"Oh Jon, I didn't know you were here. Where's Robb?" she asked pleasantly.

"He just went to get something from the garage." just then the garage door banged open and in strutted Robb, he greeted their mother and then noticed Sansa.

"You look awful." he stated plainly which was the last straw for Sansa, so she booked it to the kitchen to hide away her shame in peace.

Only minutes had passed before Jon came in to get some water. He turned to Sansa who was sitting at the counter that was part of a giant granite island in their kitchen while scrolling on her MacBook. 

"You should ice your lip, it'll really help." Sansa nodded, the ice pack had been laying on the counter next to her half forgotten.

"Thanks." Jon glanced out into the hall before resting his elbows on the island in front of her. 

"So what happened? Did you get into a fight with one of those bitchy girls in your class?" Sansa smiled but winced as it stretched the cut on her lip. Jon had remembered her complaining of the popular girls in her class who were often making fun of Sansa and her red hair.

"No, I wish. I tripped in gym." she said hanging her head, mumbling out the truth. She waited for Jon to laugh like she knew Robb would have but instead he just sighed. "Oh man, I bet that hurt, especially with your braces. I remember I got hit in the face so hard in gym once, my glasses broke and cut my face pretty bad. It looked like I got attacked by some wild bird." Sansa giggled and Jon smiled. He walked by her and ruffled her hair then. 

"Feel better, Red." Sansa smiled. Jon often called Robb Red as well even though his hair was a darker shade than hers. 

"Later Black." she said, adopting Robb's usual comeback for Jon. He gave her a dazzling smile and left leaving Sansa totally and completely infatuated from that moment on.

Once Sansa realized how fucked she was, she had tried her best to either avoid Jon completely or be around him. After a while she realized her pining would get her nowhere. She would always just be Robb's little sister to him. 

She had mostly overcome her crush on Jon after a while. Mostly. Was it her fault that he would prance around their backyard in trunks and chiseled body? Was it her fault that when he smiled and laughed at her jokes and comebacks to Robb that the brightness of it would almost blind her? Was it her fault that whatever cologne he used seem to linger in their house for hours after he was gone? No, it wasn't. It was all stupid Jon Snow's fault. 

But to every bit of handsome he was, he was also incredibly kind and intelligent. He often helped with the yard work around the house, helped Sansa's younger siblings with homework, even helped Robb and her father move and put together furniture whenever they asked. 

One time, when she was thirteen, she decided she wanted a more grown up bedroom set and Jon had been there first thing in the morning to help put it all together once it all was delivered and had high-fived her when it was done. The simple touch had burned her skin long afterwards. 

Two years later, she returned the favor by helping move him and Robb into their shared dorm at college. He had given her a huge bear-like hug when she was leaving with her parents, one very like the one Robb had given her just moments before, but meaning a completely different thing to her. 

Tears had formed in her eyes at the thought of not seeing her brother and Jon as often, the change making her nervous and scared almost. Jon had set her back down and when he pulled away, a stray tear had fallen and he had thumbed it away.

"Don't worry, Red, we'll be back home so often, you'll be sick of us." she shook her head. "Never." she had whispered. She had caught his eye for a second, they were staring right at each other, their eyes almost level since she had been growing like a weed it seemed. Her heart was hammering because she knew that with that one word, that Jon would now know how she felt. She hadn't meant to say it the way she had. She had been going for something more flippant, in a tone she would use for a sibling, but it had not come out that way. Not at all.

Jon seemed confused for a moment until Ned called for Sansa to go. She had turned and was too mortified to look back, but when she finally did, Jon and Robb were already walking back to their dorm laughing and smiling, neither turned to look back at her.

Jon hadn't been lying when he said they would visit so much she would be sick of them. They were home every other weekend for barbecues and parties their friends were throwing. Their college was located only two hours away in a small college town called The Gift, so it was easy for them to visit regularly. 

When Sansa's sixteenth birthday came around, only Robb made it back for the party. Her heart had plummeted when he walked through the door without Jon in tow. It took her the better part of the day before she mustered up the courage to finally ask where Jon was.

Robb smirked before answering, "He was taking some girl on a date. He met her in his history class. I told him that-" but Sansa didn't hear anything else. All she kept hearing was girl and date over and over. She reigned in her emotions and pushed away her disappointment and tried to swallow the lump in her throat so she could enjoy the rest of her party.

Jon had been to all of them since she was eight years old. Sansa had taken for granted his presence at each of them until now that he missed this one, but she had carried on assuming it would be like this now. Jon wasn't a Stark after all and didn't have to be in attendance to all their birthdays and anniversaries. Sansa had come to the conclusion that he was a college man now and had a whole new life and wouldn't be visiting as much after all.

But she had been wrong because the next month, he had come home for Arya's fourteenth birthday. 

Sansa had been fuming when he turned up at the restaurant with Robb, presents and balloons in tow. Arya was so surprised and happy to see her "brothers". Sansa had hugged them both when they had done their greetings around the table, but had hugged Jon much more stiffly than she had Robb and ignored him the rest of the evening.

When they were home Arya had called her out on it in her room. 

"You were being such a bitch to him." Sansa scowled and knew immediately who her sister was talking about. 

"No I wasn't." Arya nodded.

"Uh, yes you were. Ever since you got your braces off and started hanging out with Margaery and Myrcella, you've totally changed. Don't you remember how awful they were to you before?" Sansa sighed. How could she forget the jokes and snide remarks they had made at her expense? Myrcella had once been her childhood friend, their fathers being childhood friends as well. But things had turned sour when Myrcella’s mother made it clear she did not approve of the Starks being suitable companions for her children. They were an old family that came from old money, but much of their wealth had dispersed through time and all they had left were a few heirlooms and a respectable family name. Myrcella had soon become fast friends with Margaery Tyrell who also came from old money, but also new money as her father was a successful lawyer. Myrcella had remained kind to Sansa even with Margaery's teasing, but things had changed and the girls were all older now and maturing. Margaery could actually be really sweet and Myrcella actually was the sweetest. They all had become close after Sansa had caught Myrcella's older brother Joffrey, who was dating Margaery at the time, hitting her while Myrcella screamed at him to stop. Something primal had possessed her then and she had grabbed the slime ball off Marg before he could do anything else and kneed him so hard he doubled over and started to cry. The three of them had been thick as thieves since and would hang out all the time, even at Myrcella's.

"We were just little kids back then, we all did our fair share of teasing. I know you tease half the boys in your class. What's that large boys nickname again? Hot-Pie?" It was Arya's turn to roll her eyes.

"That's different." Sansa shrugged. The two were quiet for a moment before Sansa fessed up.

"I guess I just got upset because he made it to your party and not mine." Arya scrunched her nose.

"You don't even like Jon though. You never went to his games or parties either." Sansa clenched her teeth. It was true, she had avoided a lot of events related to Jon in order to keep the crush she had on him under control, otherwise she was afraid she would do something silly and embarrass herself or he would somehow find out about her silly little girl crush.

"It's not because I didn't like Jon… It's just cause… Like… it's like-" Arya gasped. "What?" Sansa asked confused.

"You like him!" Sansa shook her head quickly, her eyes wide, and her hands up, her stomach churning. Arya was terrible at keeping secrets. She would tell Jon and the whole world about this.

"No! No I don't. It's like you were saying! I didn't, he and I never-" Arya was laughing heartily now.

"Oh my god, I can't believe I never noticed before. This is great!!! You are the worst around boys!" Sansa huffed and got up to throw herself on the bed next to Arya. 

"I hate you." she said, her words muffled by her comforter. Arya laughed again and poked her ribs softly.

"Oh come on. I promise I won't say anything." Sansa sat up, her eyes narrowed. Arya put her hands up. "I swear! I'm fifteen now, all grown up! I can keep a secret." her sister tried to keep a straight face but Sansa knew better, she was doomed.

But Arya had surprised her and kept her secret. Whenever Jon and Sansa and Arya were in the same room she acted as if nothing was amiss and would only throw mocking looks at Sansa only after he left the room. At first it made Sansa nervous as hell, but it was nice to have someone to confide in about it all. She had never told her friends who ran in a different crowd, the rich crowd, and wouldn't understand her feelings for someone who didn't grow up with a silver spoon in their mouth. She knew it was bad to think of her friends that way, but it was the truth.

Surprisingly, Arya was a good listener about the whole situation. The two girls had never been the best of sisters growing up, but maybe turning fifteen and sixteen had changed them for the better. She was also the one to convince Sansa to date other boys.

"You can't sit away in your room pining after him, Sansa. Who knows how many girls he's banged at college already?" Sansa's stomach clenched painfully. The idea of Jon with someone else was hard to stomach. It had been six months since he had gone on his first date with his now girlfriend, Ygritte Freeman. Arya and Sansa had looked her up immediately after they had weaseled the information out of an unsuspecting Robb.

"Oh my god, she looks so…" Sansa searched for the right word to describe Jon's new girlfriend, and Arya had the only one that fit. 

"Wild." she finished for her. Sansa scrolled through her pics on facebook and instagram. Ygritte did rock climbing, hiking, hunting, camping, anything that dealt with the outdoors, she did it. She was basically from Alaska. Okay, that may be an exaggeration, but she was from the most northern part of the country before it turned into Canada. Winterfell was in the most northern part of Westeros before it turned into snow covered fields and empty woods but she knew they would still be considered southerners to someone like Ygritte. 

Sansa considered this girl in front of her on screen. They were nothing alike. Sansa enjoyed riding horses and a hike was all well and good, but she never got the hang of camping, and rock climbing was not on her to do list. 

In Ygritte's more recent pictures, Jon had joined her on some hikes and various outdoor adventures. Her profile pic was even a silhouette of them with the sunset behind them on some damn mountain. 'I'm nothing like this girl'. 

"I can't believe Jon picked someone who looks exactly like you." Arya snorted from behind her. Sansa whipped her head around, smacking her sister across the face with her braid. She ignored Arya's yell of protest.

"What? We don't look anything alike... besides the red hair." Sansa turned back and tried to find herself in this wild girl. Arya scoffed.

"It's kind of creepy honestly. You are a lot younger than him." Sansa grunted and thought, 'It's only three years'.

"She is nothing like me. I'm not interested in half the stuff she's into, and that's what counts, not just looks. I sew and knit and write and read and stay home to binge Netflix and reruns." Sansa rubbed her face while Arya patted her back.

"I think you need to start dating." Sansa kept her face covered.

"You think so?" she could feel Arya nod behind her.

"Yupp." she said popping the P. "You're only going to become an even more of a homebody locked up in your room stalking Jon's girlfriends. You should move on. You're already sixteen for God’s sake. You should definitely have a boyfriend by now." Sansa swiveled her chair to face her sister. What she was saying did make some sense she supposed.. 

Before Sansa knew it, she was dating Dickon Tarly. He was one of, if not the most popular boys in school at the moment. He was also a junior who had transferred to their high school his freshman year. He had taken over Robb's captain position on almost all the sports teams, and even had time for band as well as other clubs at school. Sansa was floored when he came up to her locker one day and asked if she wanted to go out after the game on Friday. Arya had been walking to her own locker at the moment and had spotted them giving Sansa the thumbs up. Sansa had agreed and the rest was confetti.

Soon Sansa was thrust into school activities, end of year events and fundraisers, student council meetings, and lots of dates with Dickon. He came around to meet her family for dinner after a few weeks of dating and her family had fallen in love with him. 

Sansa's parents knew of Dickon's. Their fathers ran in similar circles. Sansa's brothers enjoyed wrestling and climbing him like a tree, he was really tall compared to Sansa who was already pushing 5'8 as a sophomore. Arya liked him too due to their similar interests in medieval lore of the country.

Most importantly, Sansa liked him. She appreciated how sweet he was, not just to her, but everyone. He was also really thoughtful and bizarrely sensitive for someone who was pushing 6'2 and weighed over 200lbs. Their first kiss had been like magic. Ed Sheeran was playing on the radio in Dickon's Jeep. They had just come back from a group date with all their friends, so very high school, and he was dropping her off in front of her house. Sansa's heart was beating in her ears and her palms were sweaty but then Dickon's lips were on hers and she calmed. He smiled so widely at her after and Sansa beamed back blushing, a thought niggling at the back of her mind of someone else's bright smile in her mind, but she pushed it away. 

After that, their relationship seemed to escalate quickly. The months flew by and before Sansa knew it junior prom was upon them. Dickon had asked her by having their friends and other classmates line the hallway to her locker where he stood standing with a beautiful blue rose corsage and her locker decorated with the question "PROM?" in glitter letters sparkling at her. Tears had formed in her eyes at the lengths he had gone to do this for her and she had said yes while the hall literally erupted in cheers and hollers as Dickon spun her around. 

Prom was set for the end of May and the very weekend he had asked, Margaery and Myrcella took it upon themselves to take Sansa out to find the perfect dress. They had piled into Marg's Audi and drove towards a dress shop that Sansa knew was notoriously expensive.

"I can't believe we're going there. You know my dad works for the state, he's not some hedge fund lawyer like your dad Marg." 

"We're just going to have a look around San. Besides, you're the only sophomore going to prom!!. It has to be special." Sansa sighed and leaned back into the leather seats. Myrcella was giggling in the backseat on her phone.

"And who're you texting back there?" Marg asked looking in the rear view mirror. Myrcella replied no one but Margaery scoffed and muttered to Sansa, "She's been texting this guy from Dorne, his names Trystane." Sansa sat up straighter at this surprising gossip.

"Trystane Martell? Isn't his dad like the President over there?" Margaery nodded. Sansa was impressed. She knew Myrcella's family was well connected due to her grandfather on her mother's side being a former Governor of Westeros and her father was a current Senator. They often rubbed elbows with other families in such positions but she didn't know they had reached presidential status.

"It's a little scandalous. He's five years older than us, but he would be crazy not to notice her." Sansa nodded. Myrcella was beautiful in a classic timeless way whereas Margaery had a more feline mysterious look with her lips almost always in a smirk and her cat shaped eyes. Sansa herself had been told she was beautiful by her friends and family, and Dickon of course, but Sansa didn't quite see it herself. Sure she had straight teeth now and Margaery had helped teach her to do her makeup, but she still saw herself as that freckled faced girl with tomato colored hair. 

With everything going on, Sansa had completely forgotten that her brother and Jon would be home for the summer. Robb would be lifeguarding at the YMCA as he had been the past couple of years and Jon got a summer job with their Uncle Benjen at the garage he owned where he worked on vehicles. Sansa knew this through her mother who had been going off about how she was so excited to have her baby boy home again. 

Sansa knew all this and yet when she saw Robb's car in the driveway her heart had dropped into her stomach. How could she be so stupid and forget that their classes ended much sooner than Sansa's did.

"Shit." she muttered when she spotted his vehicle.

"What's wrong?" Myrcella asked finally lifting her face from her phone.

"Isn't that your brothers car?" Margaery said with a smirk. Sansa sighed. Margaery had had a crush on Robb for years and took great enjoyment of shamelessly flirting with him whenever she had the chance. Robb would take it in stride however and would flirt back, but nothing had ever come of it, as far as Sansa knew at least.

"Well, what are we waiting for?" she got down from the car and Sansa scrambled out after her.

They found everyone convened in the great living area in the backroom. Her parents were seated on the love seat while everyone else was scattered about. As soon as they spotted Sansa a big HEYYYY flooded the room as everyone greeted her and her friends.

Robb picked up Sansa and hugged her tightly making her gasp for breath.

"Missed you little sister. Damn, your heavy." he said as he set her back down. She was now eye level with Robb. She fake laughed at his dramatics and patted his stomach.

"Looks like someone found the freshman fifteen." she said. Robb haha'ed at her joke and turned to say hello to Marg and Cella. He seemed to drink in the vision that was Sansa's friends and she rolled her eyes finally turning to Jon. He threw her a half smile and awkwardly gave her a one armed hug.

"Hey, how've you been?" he asked. Sansa shrugged, her breath quickening at his proximity. 

"I've been alright, just busy with school. You?" he shrugged.

"Same, same." he bobbed on his feet for a moment and Sansa realized she was a little taller than him now as well. She sighed remembering Ygritte was a little slip of a thing. 

Everyone sat down together to catch up and laugh at old memories when the subject of prom came up after Robb asked what the girls had been up to.

"We just got back from dress shopping for Sansa's prom dress." offered Myrcella as she drank from a bottle of water Catelyn had just given her. Robb raised a brow.

"Isn't it kind of early for that? You're only a sophomore." 

"Didn't you know? She's going with Dickon Tarly. He's only been her boyfriend for like half a year, they're practically married." Margaery supplied, Robb sat up straighter.

"When did this happen? How come I didn't know?!" he asked with indignation. Sansa rolled her eyes.

"Because it's none of your business, dumbass." her mother gave her a look but said nothing as she left the room behind Ned, Sansa blushed, she wasn't one to cuss, especially in front of her parents.

"Huh, that's something. He's been good to you, right?" Sansa smiled, the slight worry in her brother's voice evident even though he tried to play if off as if he didn't care. 

"Yes, Robb, he's been great." Sansa couldn't help but glance over at Jon who she caught staring at her before he looked back down at his phone, a small scowl on his face.

Robb clapped his hands and stood. "Alright then, well, you should invite him to the bonfire tonight. You girls should come too, wear something… light." he winked at Sansa's friends who couldn't help but blush before Robb and Jon left the room. Sansa caught Jon's eye again but the look he gave her was neutral, almost cool. Sansa sighed and she felt her heart sink.

Sansa texted Dickon about the bonfire and he offered to pick her up before they went. It was pretty warm for May already considering how far North they lived, and some madness overcame Sansa as she recalled the looks Jon had given her today, as if he was ignoring her. 

It's not like we were ever best friends or anything. She reasoned to herself as she showered. 

I mean, we've barely spoken anytime he's been home to visit. She thought as she blow dried her hair.

He has a girlfriend and I have a boyfriend and he has no idea about my crush on him. My former crush. Yeah, my former crush. I don't even like him anymore. He's so moody and brooding. I have Dickon. Dickon is fun and easy and makes me happy. Sansa had felt confident as she picked out her shortest shorts and a loose tank top that showed off her midriff. Robb had caught sight of her when she went down to the kitchen for a snack when he raised his brows at her outfit.

"What? You said to dress light?" he scoffed and left the room. She was eating an apple and going through her phone when Jon came in from the back door, shirtless and sweaty. He must've just gone for a run since he seemed to be breathing heavy. Sansa took a deep breath. Former crush, former crush.

"You okay? Want some water?" she asked. He nodded and gave her a polite smile, the kind you'd give to a passing stranger at the grocery store. She turned and opened the fridge, exaggerating bending over to get Jon his drink hoping he was watching her but when she turned back to give him his drink he was on his phone texting. 

"Here you go." he mumbled a thanks and set down his phone so he could take a drink.

"How's Ygritte?" she was proud of herself. She could do this. She could make an effort with Jon and be his friend. She did not have to let her old silly school girl crush on him ruin what could be a good friendship. If he could be close with everyone else in their family, they could be close too. 

"She's alright. Robb mention her before?" he asked probably wondering how Sansa knew about her. She nodded.

"Yeah, he mentioned her a couple of times when he came home and you stayed at school. Like for my birthday." Jon's face fell slightly and he seemed rightfully regretful of missing the day.

"I am sorry about that." Sansa shrugged and smiled.

"It's alright. It's just, you'd been to almost all my birthdays before. It was kinda weird you weren't there." Jon stared at her a moment.

"I didn't think you'd notice, I guess." he said looking down at his phone. Why? Why did he have to do this now? He was giving her his puppy eyes and she could feel herself getting sucked in. Just then her phone buzzed, Dickon was outside.

"It's Dickon, I'll see you at the party, yeah?" he nodded and she left the room to meet Dickon who was waiting in his Jeep. He went for a peck but Sansa drew him in for a longer and deeper kiss. When she pulled back, Dickon was grinning, his eyes dark with lust.

"Well hey there." he said, pulling her in for a similar kiss. It was getting kind of heavy before Sansa told him they should get going if they wanted to eat before the bonfire. 

The party was in full swing by the time Dickon and Sansa reached it. Bear Park was about thirty minutes from where they lived and the family who owned the area, the Mormonts, were old family friends of the Starks. Without that connection she doubted Robb could have made a party on such short notice. Sansa quickly spotted her friends in a corner by the trees already drinking from red solo cups. Dickon left her there in search of their own. Margaery gave her an up and down glance.

"Well look at you, all done up. I've never seen you in something so short." she tugged at Sansa belt loop. Sansa laughed.

"I just wanted to wear something where I wouldn't be so hot." 

"Trust me, you did not succeed because you are extremely hot." Sansa pulled at the string that seemed to be holding up Margaery's ensemble.

"And what's this? It's practically see through?" Sansa surveyed the romper her friend was wearing. It was extremely sheer, but just enough to tease the eye and make you wonder if she had anything underneath at all.

"Your brother did say to wear something light, and you know how I like to follow directions." her sentence was uttered as soon as Robb showed up to say his hellos and he caught Margaery's words. His hug to her seemed a little too tight, not that Margaery seemed to mind. As the two flirted, Cella sidled up to Sansa.

"Better your bother than mine." she muttered. Sansa sighed.

"I suppose." she turned back to Cella who was on her phone again, texting. She rolled her eyes. "So you and the President’s son huh?" Cella snorted.

"He's not his son, if that’s what Margaery's told you, he’s just a nephew." Sansa smiled.

"Well, let's have a look." Cella bit her lip and scrolled through the photos Trystane had been sending her.

Dickon made it back to them eventually and the two participated in a few games of beer pong and dancing by the DJ booth. Robb and Dickon caught up and he eventually pulled him aside for a second to speak to him, no doubt giving him the typical if you do anything to hurt her type of speech. Sansa was watching them until she felt someone come up behind her. She turned to look up and found Jon, his sight on her brother and Dickon.

"He's tall." he said simply. Sansa laughed. Dickon was tall. "I always knew you'd find someone good for you, Red." the old nickname had Sansa's smile falling off her face. She looked back at him and found him staring at her. She knew that look. It was that look boys gave to girls when they wanted something from them. Sansa swallowed. Jon had never looked at her like this before. He swayed where he stood and Sansa closed her eyes. He was drunk. Of course.

"You should sit down." she said turning back to where her brother and boyfriend had been, but they were gone now. He took a seat next to her. 

"Ygritte hasn't answered my texts or calls. I think she's cheating on me." he blurted out. Sansa turned to him wide eyed. 

"Why do you think that?" he shrugged.

"We had a huge fight about me coming home for the summer. She wanted me to stay with her and take summer classes, but that wasn't my plan. I have a plan." he said with indignation.

"I'm sure you do Jon. You've always been pragmatic, even in your impulsive moments." he nodded, his brow furrowed in seriousness. 

"And she… she has this TA that she was always going to see, and one time I caught them having coffee when she said she was in a study group but she said I was being crazy so I let it go." Sansa felt sad for Jon. 

"I don’t think she would cheat on you Jon, and if she is, then she’s crazy." she bumped her shoulder against him and he smiled turning to look at her. He blinked to focus and seemed to be staring at her in awe. Sansa felt extremely self conscious with his eyes on her but at the same time wondered what he could possibly be seeing.

“You’re so pretty, Sansa," her name on his lips sounded so good and Sansa wanted to cry. She gave him a thin smile and stood up quickly before he said anything else and went off in search of Dickon.

She found him playing a round of beer pong with her brother.

"Come on, let's go back to your place." the suggestion of what awaited had Dickon leaving the game without a backward glance. 

They barely made it to his Jeep where she had him pinning her against the driver side door. He tasted like beer and sweat and smelled so good it made Sansa feel light headed. She realized she might have overdone it with the drinking but didn't care as Dickon's hands explored places they had never gone before.

Sansa moaned into his kisses which were a little more sloppy due to his inebriated state, but he backed off.

"Woah woah woah woah, San, baby… Hold on. I can't even see straight." Sansa tiptoed to reach his neck to bite. He hissed and brought his lips back to hers hungrily. They made out a few more minutes before he pulled away again, he eyed her with dark eyes before he banged his head softly on his vehicle.

"What? What's wrong?" she said breathlessly. 

"I don't trust myself to take you home right now. I'm so out of it, and even though I want you so bad right now," he pushed himself against her and Sansa could feel his want clear enough, "I don't want anything to happen in the backseat of my Jeep fifty feet from where your brother is." Sansa sighed. The mention of her brother was like being doused in ice water. 

"It's okay. You're right." Dickon smiled and pulled her close. 

In the end Dickon had a friend drive his Jeep to drop Sansa off and crash at Dickons house to sleep off the night. Sansa stumbled to her room in the dark trying not to wake her parents and intended to fall asleep. But thoughts of the evening plagued her. Dickons body pressed against hers, his mouth hot and wanting. Jon's eyes as he looked at her, the moonlight casting shadows over his handsome face. Sansa felt uneasy and itchy and decided the only way to get over what she was feeling was to relieve herself.

She pulled a pillow out from under her and placed it between her legs, images of the night turning into fantasies as she imagined Jon being the one pushing her against his car and making her moan. Jon's hands up her shirt, Jon's face and beard rubbing against her neck. 

When she finished she got up and changed for bed. She was about to hop back in when she noticed her door was slightly ajar, her heart jumped into her throat that someone may have seen her through the crack while she had finished herself off but when she peeked out the door she saw no one down the hallway and closed the door softly.


	2. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa deals with Jon staying with the Starks for the summer, prom, new experiences, heated arguments, and longing stares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: i know there are a lot of passionate shippers who read around here on ao3 as i just recently found out so if seeing one of your faves in a relationship with someone else that is not part of your OTP, please move on. This chapter is heavily Dickon/Sansa but does have Jonsa moments sprinkled through out.
> 
> Again, I am the only one editing this so bare with me yall. Thanks again for reading!

Sansa considered herself a fairly intelligent girl. She had good grades, liked to read, and did her fair amount of research for school projects and papers. She often read the news to keep up to date on current events and have something to talk about with her parents, mostly her father. But for all of her intelligence, she could be pretty dumb as well.

Take for example how she completely overlooked the fact that Jon was going to be staying with them for the summer.

It was not a new occurrence. He even had his own room for God's sake. It was made for him around the time he was fifteen after his single mother began a relationship with a man 20 years her senior and who would take her to all sorts of places around the country and world. 

Jon's mother had always been a sore subject in the family. Catelyn didn't much care for her and her gallivanting ways, but doted on Jon nonetheless. The same for Ned who couldn't help but think of Jon as a son/nephew. It was rumored that Brandon Stark, Sansa's Uncle, had been quite enamored with the girl from the wrong side of the tracks and the two had had a tumultuous relationship before he died in a freak car accident. Lyanna Snow had left shortly after the funeral and had turned up a year later with a baby boy in tow only a month older than Robb. As he grew, his looks were a lot like Lyanna's, but it could not be denied that there might be some Stark there too. Lyanna never confirmed who Jon's father was and Sansa's parents never asked for a DNA test to find out if Brandon was his father after all. 

Ned and Catelyn had reached out to her to help in any way they could while she was a young single mother, but she had had too much pride and worked herself to the bone paying for their one bedroom apartment and taking care of things on her own until she seemed she couldn't anymore. Soon Jon was spending weekends and summers with the Starks regularly by the time he was eleven.

So it should not have been unusual to have Jon over, especially since Sansa had dealt with him staying with them before while her crush on him had been at its peak. But it felt different this time for some reason. Sansa couldn't put her finger on it, but it had started after their conversation at the bonfire.

The day after the aforementioned event, Jon had found Sansa in the den reading and apologized if he had said anything weird or made her feel uncomfortable in anyway. He couldn't quite look her in the eye when he said his apology, but Sansa had told him it wasn't a big deal and had asked if he had figured out things with Ygritte. He had turned solemn then and said she still hadn't returned any of his messages and Sansa couldn't think of anything else to say after that.

She tried her best to keep her distance but that hardly worked. He was everywhere. He was coming out of the bathroom freshly showered when she was bleary eyed and full of morning breath. He was in the kitchen making a sandwich when Sansa wanted a snack. He was cutting the yard when Sansa went for a dip in the pool. She couldn't escape him. The only thing she could do was either lock herself in her room or leave the house to spend it at Dickon's or her friends which is exactly what she did.

Prom was fast approaching and before Sansa knew it she was standing in front of her mirror, Marg and Cella by her side fixing her hair and make up while Arya sat on her bed playing on her phone, their mother rushing in and out of the room with various hair and makeup products. It was on one of Catelyn's trips downstairs that Margaery brought up the subject of Sansa's virginity.

"So, tonight's the night you'll finally get popped huh?" Arya cackled while Myrcella smirked at the look Sansa threw Marg which was full of exasperation. 

"Why are you so interested in this? You've brought it up constantly since the bonfire." Margaery smirked.

"Well it's not my fault half the school saw you going at it in public. Who knew my darling best friend was an exhibitionist." Sansa swatted Marg's hand away from her hair. 

"Don't remind me. I still can't believe that happened." 

"Well either you're going to get it over with or not. Cella and I already have had ours picked and it was terrible with terrible boys. You actually have a chance at losing it to someone decent and who loves you." Sansa froze.

"You think he loves me?" Myrcella gave her a wide eyed look.

"Uh, Sansa, yes! Of course he loves you. Do you know how often girls throw themselves at him and he just throws them right off? He even punched someone in the locker room for asking if your drapes match the carpet." Sansa had known about the last part, and partially about girls being all over him. Sometimes she wondered why Dickon was so enamored with her. Because a tiny part of you knows you’re not as enamored with him stupid, the tiny voice in her head said. She shook her head and looked down.

"So, did you shave? And I don't mean your legs." Margaery questioned which had Sansa throwing the closest thing she could reach at her.

At promptly 6pm Dickon arrived looking more dapper than ever in dark blue tux fitted perfectly to his body. Sansa herself was wearing a 1950's style prom dress she had had her eye on since going shopping with her friends. It was light blue, cinched at her waist with a silver ribbon tied into a bow before the dress flared out creating a retro silhouette. Her heels matched the ribbon and she had her hair plaited to the side to give the whole look a more modern and relaxed vibe. She borrowed a simple pair of diamond earrings from her mother and a matching bracelet with a small silver clutch to complete the look. 

Dickon stared at her wide eyed with a dumbfounded expression on his face. Sansa bit her cheek to keep from smiling.

She came down the stairs and into his arms while her family and friends cooed and flashed pictures around them. 

"You look beautiful." he whispered in her ear as they embraced. Sansa blushed and he began to tie the blue rose corsage around her wrist as pictures continued to snap around them. 

At one point Jon and Robb showed up to see what the commotion was. She was talking in a group with her friends and Dickon when she overheard her mother tell Robb and her father, "Doesn't she look beautiful." Robb and her father agreed but she heard neither clearly as she heard Jon's voice say, "Yeah, she does." He said it with such reverence it took almost everything she had to not turn and look at him. 

As they left to say their goodbyes and Sansa was hugging her teary eyed mother she finally caught Jon's eye over her shoulder. His look seemed to burn straight into her and her mouth became dry. What was that? But before she could process it she was whisked out the door to the town car Dickon had acquired through his father that would be taking them to dinner in the city before heading to prom. 

The evening panned out to be everything Sansa had ever dreamed of it being. The food had been great and Dickon had made her laugh harder than she had in awhile. They talked about their summer plans and him going away for a couple of weeks to a football camp where scouts would be. Sansa talked about a class she wanted to take about fashion for the youth in the community and he encouraged it with such enthusiasm that he had Sansa beaming.

Once at prom they met with Dickon's friends and other classmates. Their evening was filled with dancing, laughing, and spiked drinks. 

Around 11 they left to an after party. This year the seniors had rented out a cabin on Bear Island which wasn't really any island, but was part of Bear Park, a few miles from the notorious bonfire Robb threw a few weeks before. It was a tradition at their school that seniors would throw the juniors an after party for their prom and the juniors would throw an after party for the senior prom. 

The cabin was huge, a lot bigger than the one Sansa's family owned which was saying something since theirs had six bedrooms with matching baths. This one must be for multiple families staying because she found not one but two kitchens and an outdoor one as well by the pool. 

Dickon offered Sansa a mixed drink which she happily sipped several of as the night continued. Eventually people started leaving or heading to the rooms upstairs. Sansa was sitting with her feet in the pool talking to some girls she knew from student council when she caught Dickon's eye over her shoulder. 

His gaze never wavered from hers as he stared her down while he ignored whatever conversation was going on around him. Sansa felt heat pool in her belly at the way he was looking at her. She watched as Dickon left the group and started to make his way to her. Sansa excused herself from the girls and met him half way.

"So my parents are still at that company party out of town and my dad just texted me they won't be back until the morning, do you want to go back there or.." he let the words hang in the air between them. She knew he meant to find a room somewhere in the house. Sansa was buzzing from the drinks she had, the warmth of the night, and the anticipation of what was going to happen. She thought for a moment before deciding.

"Let's go to your house." Dickon grinned at her.

The two said their goodbyes as they left, arms around each other. Dickon had the town car from earlier come and pick them up. Sansa's inhibitions were lowered extremely otherwise she would not have been all over Dickon in the backseat of the car on the way to his house. Thank god for the divider. 

Once they made it to Dickon's house they went straight up to his room. Sansa had been inside plenty of times and was well acquainted with his bed from their various make out sessions and naps, something they could not do at Sansa's house where they always had to have the door open to her room when Dickon was over. 

"I'll be right back." he pecked her cheek and left the room for a moment and Sansa walked around taking a look at Dickon's various trophies and medals. She smiled at the picture she had framed for him on his nightstand. It was of the two of them at a barbecue her family had thrown a few months back. She was sitting in his lap, both of them grinning so wide. She also found other pictures of them around the room. Polaroids of them and their friends, a red construction paper heart she had cut out and wrote their names on was stuffed into the corner of the mirror on his dresser. It touched her that he had kept these little mementos of them and she felt sick to her stomach of the way she had been treating him lately. 

She hadn't outright done anything that would be considered cheating, but her thoughts and desires were enough that if voiced, would be the end of them as a couple. Sansa vowed to herself to stop whatever nonsense she had going on with Jon because Dickon deserved better than that and she would be better than she had been.

Just as she thought that, Dickon came in with two fluted glasses of bubbling champagne. Sansa smiled at him as he closed the door with his elbow and took her glass.

"You're something else Tarly." he smiled at her and the two clinked their glasses together and drank. Sansa startled when she felt something touch her lip and when she pulled the glass away frowning, she gasped.

Inside was a simple diamond encrusted ring. It glittered spectacularly even in the dim light of the room. She looked up at Dickon who was watching her intently, almost nervously.

"It's not an engagement ring." he blurted out at the scared look on her face. 

"I didn't think… Dickon… It's-" she turned the glass over and the ring dropped into the palm of her hand. She put it on her middle finger of her right hand shakily and surveyed it with awe.

"It's a promise ring. I know we haven't been together for even a year but I wanted to give you something to… to symbolize how I felt and how committed I am to you, to us. Something physical to show you that I promise to always love you." Sansa blinked up at him, her eyes swimming with tears. It was a lot to take in. She could tell Dickon was growing worried because she hadn't said anything.

"You love me?" she whispered thickly, her voice heavy with emotion. It was all she had wanted as an adolescent girl. Someone to love her like the songs and stories she had grown up on. Robb and Jon had made fun of her for it as a kid, but her parents had thought it was cute. As she had grown older she knew life was not a fairy tale and that there was more to it than just falling in love with someone, but she was still young and the heart wants what it wants. She looked down at the ring again and a wave of warmth washed over her. She looked back at Dickon, this sweet boy who loved her so, who had never raised his voice or his hands to her, who respected her and cared about her, who encouraged her dreams and aspirations, and she felt love. It was not all consuming and passionate. But it was calm and gentle and comfortable. It was not the fire she had felt in her veins when she would see a certain someone, but maybe this was better?

"Of course I love you San. You've become my best friend. No one knows me like you." he pinched her chin playfully and ran his hand down her arm to hold her hand. He was searching her face and seemed to be getting nervous. He opened his mouth to say something when Sansa finally spoke, "I love you too." she said. Dickon relaxed and smiled before taking her face in his large hands and kissing her before the two fell to his bed.

Sansa's first time had been nothing like she thought it would be. It was full of mashing teeth, awkward head bumps, and strange noises and smells.

When Dickon had finally entered her, Sansa had to bite her cheek hard to keep from shrieking in pain. He was big and it burned terribly. She told him to slow down but she didn't need to worry about him going any faster because within seconds he had spent himself. He had turned red with embarrassment and Sansa had told him it was alright. The two had redressed and Dickon drove her home in his Jeep in silence. 

Sansa's parents were waiting up for her as the front porch light was still on. She turned to Dickon who couldn't meet her eye but instead kept fumbling with his fingers. 

She grabbed his nervous hands and he finally met her eyes. "Dickon, I love you." he smiled softly.  
"I love you too Sansa, I'm sorry. I wanted it to be special, and I ruined it-" she shook her head.

"It was special. I think people lie when they say their first time is mind blowing. I'm just glad you were my first." he smiled wider then and nodded.

"I'm glad you were mine too." Sansa smiled back. She had doubted him when he had confessed to her before that he was a virgin like her, but those doubts had been put to rest by how he had been just as nervous and inept at sex as she was. 

Sansa parted from him with a kiss and when she closed the front door behind her, she rested the back of her head against it, closing her eyes and smiling. 

"Fun night?" Sansa nearly jumped out of her skin at the voice. She turned to the living room just off the foyer to find Jon half hidden in the darkness.

"Jesus, Jon." she gasped putting her hand to her heart. He stood up with his hands up smiling.

"It's just me, Red, not some incredibly handsome home intruder." Sansa laughed. Jon was usually very self deprecating so to hear him call himself handsome was random and funny, but he wasn't lying.

"What are you doing up?" he shrugged. 

"You're parents and Robb just went to bed like five minutes ago, we were all waiting up for you." he was standing closer to her now and she could see his lashes clearly, that's how close he was. He seemed to be surveying her as well. Her hair was loose now, and her dress slightly disheveled. She knew some of her makeup had rubbed off, but when she had looked in Dickon's mirror before she left, she was presentable enough. Still, she worried. Jon was giving her a knowing look and she wondered if he knew what she and Dickon had been up to. His nostrils flared and for a second she worried he could smell the scent of sex on her. But that was ridiculous.

"Well, goodnight." she turned to head for the stairs but he grabbed her arm. She felt his touch burn her and she pulled away as if he truly had.

"What's that? On your hand." he motioned his head to her right hand where her new ring glittered. Damn. "Is that an engagement ring?" he asked in astonishment. 

"What? No! It's a promise ring." Jon scoffed. Sansa narrowed her eyes.

"What?" he shrugged. 

"Nothing." she turned to face him fully and crossed her arms.

"No. What did you mean by that?" he shrugged again.

"Nothing. I meant nothing. Goodnight, Sansa." it was her turn to grab him by the arm.

"No, tell me. What's the problem?" Jon sighed.

"I don't have a problem. It's just-" he threw his hands up, "You're only sixteen Sansa." she raised a brow.

"And?"

"And it's too early for you to be making promises like that." she stared at him confused. Where was this coming from?

"So just because of my age, my feelings are what? Irrelevant?" he shook his head.

"No, that's not what I meant." 

"Well what do you mean?" she countered. Jon seemed to be getting flustered and regretting the conversation with each passing second.

"I just meant this kind of promise is a big deal. Ned and Cat won't be happy about it." Sansa shook her head. Her parents had done something similar at her age and were barely out of their teens when they had Robb. If not for their families coming from old money, they would not have flourished as well as they had. Of course her mother had given her the talk about sex and babies and marriage. Sansa knew Catelyn wanted something more for her daughter, but she also knew that Sansa had a good head on her shoulders and if she found love young like her parents, then so be it. 

"You don't know shit about how my parents will feel about it." she said bitingly. Jon made a face. He knew Sansa was not one to cuss but he had hit a nerve with her.

"Look, I didn't meant upset you, okay? I'm sorry. I'm just looking out for you." his face and eyes had softened and Sansa's defenses came down. How did he do that?

"I appreciate it Jon, but you're not my father or my brother, you don't have to look out for me." he snorted.

"Oh believe me, I know." She wondered if he meant that towards him knowing he wasn’t her brother or knowing he didn’t have to look out for her. Sansa felt the air between them crinkle with electricity. This was the most they had spoken in ages, and all the while Sansa felt like there was something being said between them but not out loud. Her senses were heightened and she could feel the energy spark again. It was a sexual type of energy and she felt her heart start to beat heavily. Jon's nostrils flared again and she wanted for him to kiss her so badly. 

Fuck! She promised herself not to do this anymore. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"I'm going to bed, goodnight." she turned to head upstairs, Jon mumbling a goodnight behind her. She felt his eyes follow her up the stairs until she was out of sight.

Jon had been half right about her parents being upset about the promise ring. They weren't exactly thrilled, but after having a long and tiring conversation about the importance of school and their respective futures they thought it was lovely and sweet.

Arya had pretended to gag when she saw the ring, but still wanted details of how it all went down. Bran and Rickon didn't seem to give a fig about it though but had listened politely enough before leaving to play a new video game. 

Robb had had a similar reaction to Jon, though not as upset.

"And why didn't he ask for mine or dad's permission first?" he asked.

"Because this isn't the medieval world anymore idiot." Sansa replied. 

"Yeah yeah, I get it. Women's choice and all that." Sansa punched his arm hard enough to make him wince.

"Geez, I'm joking. And that hurt!" Sansa smiled, her ring was pretty as well as useful. 

The last week of school passed quickly and summer began for Sansa. Dickon was invited to help host the junior after party for the seniors prom, but he blew it off to be with Sansa. The two instead went back to his house and tried their hand at sex again. In fact, they tried many times over the first couple of weeks of summer until one day he gave Sansa her first orgasm. She'd had them before on her own, but to have them with someone who loved her made it 10x better. It seemed they had found their rhythm and did it as often as they could. His bed, his jeep, one very scary time where they had only twenty minutes alone before everyone returned home. He had made her moan so loudly, she was sure if anyone had been in the house, they would make no mistake about what they were up to in her room.

It was the end of June when Dickon was set to leave for a couple of weeks for football camp. Sansa had her mother drive her to see him off and stayed with her as she cried silently watching his bus disappear.

"It's only a few weeks sweetheart. He'll be back soon. You can call him every night." Sansa knew this, but she had grown quite attached to him, even more so since they had started being intimate. "Besides, your fashion course will keep you busy, right?" Sansa nodded and wept softly into her mother's shoulder.

Her mother had been right. The fashion course was filled with projects to keep her busy for the next few weeks. Robb had been given the job to take her to and from her class since Sansa’s parents had their hands full with the younger male Starks. Things had gone smoothly until one time his car messed up and Sansa had to find someone else to get her. Margaery was out of town with her family and Myrcella didn’t yet have her license. Sansa’s last option was Jon. 

The two had never mentioned the odd confrontation they had had the night of prom. She had noticed his presence in the house less and wondered even if he was staying somewhere else, but she found the light on in his room and his new truck parked out in the front every evening so she deduced he had been avoiding her. She didn't blame him, she had been avoiding him as well. 

As she watched his truck pull into the parking lot in front of the community college where her class was being held, she took a calming breath. It was fine. Totally fine. She hadn't thought about him as often as she used to and definitely didn't use his image as a fantasy to get off anymore. She was staying faithful to Dickon both internally and externally. She didn't have to be nervous, it was just Jon. He was just Jon now.

Just Jon opened the door for her by leaning over the passenger seat. "Hop in, Red." Sansa glanced over Jon's hair which had grown long enough for him to pull back into a bun. His facial hair was longer now, but trimmed neatly. He was wearing his overalls from work with grease staining them in odd spots as well as his hands. When she got in his truck the scent of man at work overpowered her and made her head feel light. Who would have thought that the scent of sweaty man and grease could make her feel as hot as she was feeling all of a sudden.

"Can we roll down the windows, you stink." Jon seemed to blush slightly and lowered the windows for them.

"Wanna grab a bite to eat?" he asked as they traveled down the part of town where all the fast food places were. Sansa's stomach growled at the mention of food and Jon laughed.

"Yes please." she said meekly. He pulled into a drive-thru burger joint where carhops came out to take your order.

Sansa ordered a burger and fries with a chocolate shake while Jon ordered a burger with onions rings and a large coke. Sansa scrolled through her phone for a minute before she realized she had no service. She turned to Jon who had just come to the same conclusion on his phone and smiled at her.

"Guess we actually have to talk." he said, she giggled. 

"I'm sorry." they blurted at the same time before laughing. 

"I really am sorry though. It wasn't my place to blow up at you like that." Sansa nodded.

"Thanks. I know you were just worried. You're like a big brother to me." his smile faltered for a second and Sansa screamed at herself in her head for being an idiot. 

"Yeah, yeah, exactly." he turned then and put his elbow to rest on the door, his fist clenched and covering his mouth. Sansa looked around trying to think of something to say when their car hop, a very pretty girl, and a senior at school if Sansa was remembering correctly, came to drop off their order. 

The girl, Val something or other, seemed to recognize Jon and the two caught up for a bit. Sansa ate her food soundlessly while pretending not to listen to their conversation which was impossible since she was sitting right there. 

"I was kind of hurt you hadn't texted me that you were back in town. We used to have a lot of fun." she flirted. Jon laughed. "I remember. I've just been busy with work, but I'll text you soon. Promise." Sansa rolled her eyes at their conversation.

"Bye Sansa, see you." Val said before rolling away. Sansa waved and smiled, her mouth full of burger.

"You're going to text her later huh? What happened with Ygritte." she said taking a sip of her shake. Jon took a bite of his food and swallowing before he answered.

"We broke up." Sansa choked on her drink. Jon thumped her on the back which only made her eyes water. She put up her hands to signal she was fine.

"I'm okay." she gasped out after minute. She took a sip of Jon's coke before asking what happened.

"The distance wasn't good for us I guess. We were fighting a lot and I just told her if she couldn't handle me being home with my family then maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore." Sansa couldn't believe it. 

"How did she take it?" he shrugged.

"Okay I guess. I'd never broken up with anyone before, only been broken up with. We haven't talked since." he took a sip of his drink before turning and smiling at her.

"And you? Are you okay?" he nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good. I have work to keep me busy and other things." he said, his eyes wandering towards Val who was taking an order for the car in front of them, bent over quite suggestively. Sansa rolled her eyes.

"Pig." she muttered. Jon laughed. 

"I'm just messing with you, Red." he smiled.

"Sure, Black." she replied. The two continued their meal and chatted happily until they got home. Usually Sansa would go up to her room and call Dickon, but instead she joined Jon and the rest of the family for a couple rounds of monopoly before one by one everyone went off to bed. Jon and Sansa stayed up and continued to talk.

He told stories about college and his grades and what his professors were like. Sansa told him about who was still teaching at school and the hot gossip he had missed out on between Coach Davos and the Vice Principal, Ms. Melisandre. 

They had each other rolling around with laughter so loud that Robb came in at one point to tell them to shut up. So they made their way outside to the back and sat on the swing under the gazebo to continue their conversation that consisted of everything and nothing.

It was late when Sansa's phone buzzed. It was Dickon telling her he fell asleep early and was sorry he missed their nightly chat, but he would call her tomorrow for sure. Sansa replied quickly before leaning her head back and closing her eyes. 

"You should go to bed, its late." Jon said. Sansa nodded, her eyes still closed. She was feeling the kind of sleepy where your face starts to feel a little numb, but she was having such a nice time talking with Jon, she didn't want it to end.

"I'm just so happy right now." she muttered. She turned her head and her eyes fluttered open. Jon was leaning his head back on the swing too, watching her with the same look he had on his face the night of the bonfire.

"Me too." he replied. Sansa's arm had been resting beside her and she felt Jon's pinky touch hers. She was wide awake suddenly and wondered if she was imagining Jon leaning closer to her. 

Suddenly the security light came on, flooding the yard with light. Sansa sat up and turned to find a raccoon disappearing into the bushes next to the house. She let out a breath and turned back to Jon who seemed just as alert as she was. Did that just happen?

"I think I'll go to bed now. Night." 

"Night, Red." Sansa smiled and made her way up to her room.

Once she changed and was in bed, she closed her eyes and thought about her evening from when Jon picked her up, to their fast food date, to laughing and joking with him into the night. But what she thought of most was that moment on the swing because she was pretty positive that Jon had just tried to kiss her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Sansa's prom dress inspo](https://i.pinimg.com/474x/28/18/2b/28182bee0daa3b33b3af6e4b5078b44e--sophia-turner-pale-blue-dresses.jpg)
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> [Dickon's suit inspo but imagine him age appropriate for sansa](https://c8.alamy.com/comp/MCP6P0/los-angeles-usa-17th-apr-2018-actor-tom-hopper-attends-the-world-premiere-of-stx-films-i-feel-pretty-at-westwood-village-theater-on-april-17-2018-in-los-angeles-california-photo-by-barry-kingalamy-live-news-MCP6P0.jpg)
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> [promise ring inspo](http://www.zales.com/productimages/processed/V-19196864_0_565.jpg)


	3. Gray

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa spends much of her summer around Jon, the two coming to several realizations. Sansa works through her issues with Dickon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING ::: still some heavy Dickon/Sansa going on in this chapter.

The next morning, Sansa convinced herself that whatever had happened or almost happened between herself and Jon had been part of her imagination. She watched Jon carefully the next couple of days, but nothing was amiss, so she shrugged it off and tried to forget, and she did forget. Mostly.

Jon himself acted as if nothing had happened either, but he had stopped avoiding her. In fact, he seemed to be a much bigger presence in her life suddenly. He took over Robb's job of picking her up after her fashion course and the two made a habit of getting fast food together.

It wasn't a big deal, eating with Jon, but when Dickon would call and ask what she was up to she never mentioned she was with Jon. It was ridiculous. They weren't doing anything wrong, just friends hanging out. But still, she never said.

After one particular phone call Jon seemed he couldn't help himself and asked, "Why don't you tell your fiance you're eating with me?" his tone was playful and teasing. He often called Dickon her fiance or betrothed since he had given her the promise ring. She rolled her eyes before answering. 

"I was just thinking that myself honestly." she rested her head back on the seat. "I don't know." she finally said to the ceiling of his truck. Jon dropped the subject.

As he drove them home, both were in a pensive silence. Sansa was thinking about Dickon and where there relationship was headed, and if she even wanted to continue said relationship. She realized the only time she seemed to seriously question it was when she was around Jon.

Dickon was great. He checked every box on paper. He met all the requirements for the perfect boyfriend, and yet, something didn't quite fit. She turned her head to stare at Jon's profile as he drove.

Jon didn't fit all the requirements she had quite literally written down as a younger girl. It was silly to use that as any point of reference, but it had mattered to her at one point.

Some of the things she had listed before had been pretty superficial such as her partner being tall, handsome, strong, sporty, funny, smart, and rich. Sansa wrinkled her nose as she remembered her childish list and mentally crossed it all out. None of that really mattered. What should matter was how someone made you feel and how they treated you. Dickon made her feel safe, and strong. He never belittled her or made her feel dumb. But neither did Jon, it just wasn't something she ever imagined putting up with in a person and thankfully she hadn't had to.

Her thoughts quieted when Jon pulled into the driveway of the Stark house. He shut the engine off and the two sat there. Sansa suddenly felt the words bubbling to the surface. They burned her throat. She wanted to tell Jon. She wanted to tell him her feelings that she had been hiding all these years. She imagined saying how she still felt the same, but instead she swallowed them and cleared her throat and instead said, "Thanks for picking me up again." he nodded.

"No problem, San. I'd do it for any of you." she nodded. Of course he would. He was Jon.

The two got down and entered the house going their separate ways.

 

  
The weekend Dickon returned Sansa couldn't get enough of him. He was tan and even more built than he had been when he had left. The constant working out and practicing had done amazing things to his body. She had giggled like crazy when he had practically thrown her over his shoulder when they got to his house, sprinting up to his room before throwing her on the bed.

She had had a lot of pent up sexual energy and it showed. The marks on Dickon's back and neck were proof of that.

Sansa herself earned a love bite or two and she tried her best to cover them. What she didn't realize was when she had Dickon holding her down with one giant hand, he had left bruises around her arms. They were faint and barely noticeable, but Jon had always been observant and saw them instantly.

His face turned stony when Sansa reached in front of him to get the salt across the table during dinner one night. Sansa sensed the change of his mood almost instantly and she realized her mistake of letting her arm be on full display.

Jon's eyes were burning holes in her skull, but he never uttered a word. Sansa thought she was in the clear until he practically burst into her room an hour after dinner ended. He shut the door behind him softer than she thought he was capable of in his state.

"What the fuck did he do to you?" Sansa was sitting cross-legged on her bed while on her MacBook. She calmly moved it to the side and set Jon with a cool look.

"Jon, it's no-" Jon raised his hand and shook his head vehemently.

"Don't. Don't say it's nothing. Those are bruises on your arm Sansa! You can't deny them. What happened?!" Sansa self consciously grabbed her arm and rubbed it. Jon was making a mountain out of a molehill, they were not as terrible as he was making them out to be.

"Jon, please calm down. It was nothing, he didn't mean to-" Jon threw his hands up in exasperation.

"How can you defend him, Sansa! He hurt you!" he started pacing and running his hands through his hair, his breathing was heavy. He stopped and faced her, "I have to tell Robb, or your parents. Maybe they can make you see sense." Jon turned to go.

"No! Jon! Stop!" Sansa scrambled from her bed with lighting speed and grabbed Jon by his arm.

"You can't! It's really not what you think. I promise." her face was getting hot because she knew she would have to tell Jon the truth to keep her parents from finding out the truth. She was pretty sure her mother knew she was sexually active, but it was still not a conversation she was excited to have.

"What am I supposed to think Sansa. Hmmm?" he turned towards her, her hands still around his forearm. She searched his eyes and he gave her that puppy look he would give so well. Sansa closed hers and felt her face get even hotter.

"It happened when we were being… you know.." Sansa opened her eyes to Jon's confused face, and then like a light switch went off inside his head, his expression changed instantly.

"Oh." he cleared his throat and backed away looking anywhere but at her. Sansa was mortified. She didn't know why. Sex wasn't something to be ashamed of but she had a sinking feeling that Jon wouldn’t look at her the same anymore. In his eyes she had always been sweet, innocent, pure little Sansa. Now that image was shattered forever. She could feel herself getting upset that he had practically forced her to reveal such an intimate part of her life.

“So, what now? Still going to rat me out to my parents?” Jon, who wouldn’t quite meet her eye was looking at her somewhere over her shoulder.

“Of course not.” he sighed and looked down furrowing his brow. “Is it…” he cleared his throat, “are you being careful?” Sansa bobbed her head, a lump was forming in her throat all of a sudden. 

“Yes. Always.” Jon nodded.

“Good.. that’s good.” He finally met her eye and gave her a sort of broken kind of smile before saying goodnight and leaving the room. Sansa fell back on her bad, pulled a pillow to her face, and screamed.

 

 

It was two weeks before the start of Sansa’s and Dickon’s final year of high school. Dickon had taken Sansa to the city so she could get new clothes and supplies for school. By the time they made it back it was pretty late and Robb and Jon’s birthday dinner was nearly over. Catelyn had given Sansa a look that said how rude it was for her to be late. Sansa had returned her own look that said she hadn’t meant to stay out so long. Sansa sat with Dickon at the table and ate what was left of the roast that had been made. It was both Robb and Jon’s favorite meal.

The dinner was not only to celebrate the boys nineteenth birthdays, which had already passed earlier in the summer, it also served as a goodbye party. Robb and Jon would be leaving the following Monday to start their second year of college which began a week earlier than Sansa’s.

After everyone was full, they made their way into little groups about the house. Bran and Rickon begged Dickon to play a round of a new game they got and Dickon had obliged happily enough. Sansa’s parents headed to the kitchen to clean up while Arya, Jon, Robb and Sansa made their way to the family room at the back of the house. 

Sansa was surprised when Jon sat himself next to her on the loveseat and casually took up as much space as he could, even putting his arm around the back of the couch behind Sansa. She eyed him warily for a minute, but dismissed the action and tried to concentrate on whatever Arya was talking about.

The four were chuckling at a story a Robb had told before about Coach Davos and a bag of onions he brought to a teachers luncheon when Dickon showed up. Sansa spotted him first and when their eyes met she shot up from her seat. She realized she had become so relaxed during their conversation she had been leaning into Jon a little too closely. If Dickon noticed he didn’t act like it but simply smiled suggestively at her. He did look at her questioningly however when she practically pulled him from the room and up to hers.

“What was that?” He asked when they were finally inside. 

Sansa shook her head. “Nothing.”

“You know we can’t do anything with your parents in the house, you’re too loud.” he said as he pulled her close to him. Sansa nearly jumped a foot in the air when someone cleared their throat by the door and gave a soft knock. It was Jon standing awkwardly just inside the doorway, his expression neutral.

“Just wanted to let you guys know I’m heading out.” Sansa frowned. 

“Already? Robb’s not leaving until Monday.” he nodded.

“Yeah, I just thought I’d get there early and meet our new roommates.” Sansa looked up at Dickon who was looking between the two of them and Sansa had the impression that he was feeling like the third wheel between his girlfriend and her pseudo-brother.

“Um, I’ll give you guys a second?” he said confused before clapping Jon on the back and wishing him a safe trip. The muscle was working in Jon’s jaw at the contact and Sansa wondered what he was thinking.

“So… take care.” she said after a moments silence and went forward to hug him. They held each other just a little too tight for a little too long. It was not a sibling like hug. It was not a friendly hug. It was an embrace and Sansa closed her eyes and breathed him in. When they pulled apart tears were shining in her eyes again much like the year before when they had said their goodbyes, but this was different. This past summer had changed them both somehow and even without anything being said at all they had both come to some understanding that there was something there between them. She wished one of them had been brave enough to say it.

“When do you think you’ll be home again?” Jon’s eyes roamed her face, drinking her in. 

“I’m not sure. I got accepted to that work study program I told you about and that’ll keep me busy most weekends.” Sansa nodded. 

“Besides, mom doesn’t live here in town anymore, so it’s not really home.” he gave her a sad smile. Sansa frowned.

“Jon, this is your home, here with us. You know that.” Jon gave her that kicked puppy sort of look and Sansa wanted to wrap her arms around him and never let him leave. She knew Jon had issues with his mom and a void in place of never truly knowing who his father was. She had assumed for a while that her family had filled that empty part of him, but by looking at him now she knew that was not the case. She wanted to say something else, something wise and comforting, but she was still just a girl with a hopeless and seemingly never ending crush on Jon Snow.

“You should text me.” she blurted suddenly, the words surprising her as well as Jon. He smiled then.

“Sure, Red. I’ll text you.”

“I’m serious. You can call me too, for anything. Okay?” he nodded and the two hugged once more before he left. 

 

 

The school year began just like any other. Sansa threw herself into her school work, volunteered for as many benefits and fundraisers her school was hosting, signed up for various clubs, and attended all of Dickon’s games and even some practices. Margaery was just as involved with school activities as Sansa, if not even more so. Myrcella kept it easy with signing up for a few clubs and mostly focusing on cheerleading. 

They had sleepovers and went on group dates with their classmates and friends. Margaery had even started dating a college boy named Harry. He went to the same university as Jon and Robb.

“Isn’t it saying something that he can’t date someone his own age that he has to go for someone in high school?” You are such a hypocrite, Sansa thought to herself after she spoke. The three girls were seated on Myrcella’s bed surrounded by an array of junk food.

Margaery licked her fingers and shrugged, “I don’t think so. He’s only nineteen after all, just like your brothers.” Sansa furrowed her brow.

“Jon’s not my brother.” she said a little to quickly. Marg shrugged.

“Okay, cousin then.” Sansa pulled a face.

“He’s not my cousin either.” Myrcella picked up a macaroon daintily when she added, “Really? I thought his dad was your Uncle that passed away.” Sansa shook her head.

“No! We are in no way related.” her insistence that Jon was in no way related to her made Margaery widen her eyes. She never missed a thing.

“Sansa Stark! Do you like Jon?!” she practically shrieked. Sansa sighed. She wanted to deny it but both her friends were staring at her with a look that told her they would never let her out of that room until she confirmed their suspicion. 

“Yes, alright! Is that what you wanted to hear? Can we drop it now. It doesn’t even matter.” she opened a carton of ice cream near the end of the bed and took a giant spoonful. Her two friends were still staring at her in surprise.

“And Jon?” Margaery asked. Sansa shrugged.

“And Jon, what?” she said.

“Does he like you back?” Marg asked exasperated. Sansa sighed and shook her head.

“No. I don’t think so.” Myrcella scoffed, and both turned to her.

“I doubt that. If you two aren’t related, I’m sure he’s had a naughty dream of you more than once.” Margaery giggled with glee and Sansa shook her head. 

“Ha ha. Guys I promise he doesn’t see me as anything more than a sister.” she looked down at her ice cream and knew it was a lie. Jon did not look at Arya the way he looked at her. She was sure they didn’t text as much or as often as he had been texting her either. Sansa had been happily surprised when he had sent his first text the very night he had made it back to his dorm and it seemed they hadn’t stopped since. They texted each other as soon as they woke up and well into the night when they went to bed. It was innocent enough, but there had been vague suggestive flirtings and she had added a lock code to her phone, something Dickon had noticed but didn’t question. 

The thought made her ill. Just then her phone pinged. The three girls exchanged a look before Myrcella had Sansa pinned to the bed and Marg had grabbed her phone.

“Oh my god, you dirty slut!! It’s from Jon!” she practically screamed. Sansa pushed Myrcella off and grabbed the phone from Margaery.

“It’s not what it looks like. We just text sometimes.” Sansa locked her phone and tucked it into the back pocket of her shorts. Margaery was staring at Sansa in disbelief, but with also with a slightly impressed expression. 

“What about Dickon?” Myrcella finally voiced. Sansa deflated then and threw herself back on the bed.

“I don’t know.” 

“What does that mean?” asked Margaery.

“It means I don’t know!” Sansa ran a hand through her hair, “Dickon is great. He’s pretty much the perfect boyfriend, but…” she let her sentence hang. Margaery sat down next to her.

“He’s not Jon.” she supplied, Sansa nodded, tears forming in her eyes.

“Am I horrible?” she whispered. Both her friends pulled her into a hug shushing her and telling her that she wasn’t, that she couldn’t help how she felt. Sansa calmed enough for them to let her go. She wiped her nose on her sleeve and sniffled. 

“Are you going to break up with him?” Myrcella finally asked. Sansa shook her head.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I just feel bad, like I’ve wasted his time or something.” Margaery shook her head.

“No way. You are not a waste of time Sansa. I’m sure you two have had a lot of fun together.” she elbowed Sansa’s rib suggestively and had her giggling and blushing. 

The talk with her friends replayed in her head for weeks afterwards. Every now and then they would bring up the impending break up and Sansa hated herself for ever talking to them about it. 

She was a coward. She couldn’t do it. Everytime she and Dickon were alone and the situation presented itself perfectly, she would back down. First it was because it was her seventeenth birthday and Jon again had missed it, so that made her feel shitty and she hadn’t wanted to be alone just yet. Before she knew it, it was Dickon’s birthday and what kind of monster would she be if she broke up with him on his birthday and a week after that was their one year anniversary. Suddenly it was Christmas break and she still hadn’t ended things. 

“Really?! Just get it over with already!” Ayra had demanded one evening literally as Sansa had closed the door behind Dickon.

Sansa had told Arya about how she planned on ending things with him, but that had been a while ago as well and Arya never had patience for this sort of thing.  
“I know.” Sansa groaned. “It’s just so hard. He’s such a sweet guy, I’m afraid of breaking his heart.” Arya rolled her eyes.

“He’ll get over it.” her sister made her way into the kitchen, Sansa right behind her.

“I just don’t know how to begin.” Arya hopped onto the counter and began to peel an orange.

“Just tell him you think he sucks in bed and you want to fuck someone else already.” Sansa threw a dish towel at Arya who was cackling.

“Arya! Be serious!” Arya calmed down and sighed.

“Just be honest with him. You’re good with words, you can break it to him gently enough.” Sansa put her head in her arms.

“If I was good with words, Jon would know how I felt already.” 

“If Jon doesn’t know already, then he’s as stupid as you are which is good because that means you’re perfect for each other.” that earned Arya another dish towel thrown at her face.

 

 

In the end, Sansa hadn’t had to break up with Dickon at all, it was Dickon who broke up with her.

The two were studying in his bedroom when he gently put his pencil down and sighed.

“Can we talk?” Sansa nodded and continued with her work. Dickon reached over and closed her math book. Sansa looked up at him confused.

“What’s wrong?” her stomach started to churn at the look on Dickon’s face.

“I’m not sure where to start.” Sansa sat as still as a statue, holding her breath. She wanted to shout at him to stop because she knew where this was heading and she had wanted to break up with him first! 

“I’ve decided which school I want to play for this fall.” Sansa said nothing so he continued. “I know we never talked about what would happen when I left to school and for a while I thought I would pick a college closer so we could be together, but the program where I want to go is great, it has everything I need to set me up for life.” Sansa could almost hear Dickon’s father in his words but still said nothing. “And I know it’s months away, but I thought it would be less painful if we ended things now, which is stupid because this fucking sucks.” he said sadly. Still, Sansa said nothing.

“Please say something, San.” he whispered, eyes pleading.

“I… We could try doing long-distance?” she suggested after a moment. Dickon smiled sadly.

“Is that really what you want?” Sansa looked down and shook her head. 

“No.” she sniffled. Dickon wrapped his arms around her and Sansa soaked in the feeling.

“I still love you.” she whispered, sniffling. She felt Dickon chuckle and give a sniffle as well. When he pulled back, he wiped at his eyes discreetly. 

“I still love you too.” Sansa looked down at the promise ring then, Dickon following her line of vision. “You should keep it.” Sansa shook her head. 

“I couldn’t,” she began, “You should take it back.” he shook his head.

“What would I do with it? I can’t give it to anyone else. Just… you take it and you can do whatever you want with it. Sell it, throw it in a lake,” Sansa gave a watery laugh, “Whatever you want.” She shook her head.

“I couldn’t give it away. I’ll… I’ll think of something.” Dickon nodded and the two embraced again.

Sansa gathered her things then and Dickon drove her home. She already had her learners permit, but still didn’t have her proper license of even a car. She was in no rush to have one but in this moment she desperately wished she did so she could be crying and singing to Adele right about now. Finally, after Dickon had pulled away from her house and Sansa was in her room she let out a broken sob. She thought she was being quiet, but apparently not because her mother was in her room suddenly.

“Sansa? Are you okay sweetheart?” Sansa shook her head and threw herself into her mother’s arm.

“What happened?” she asked as gently as possible.

“Dickon and I broke up.” she answered thickly, her nose already stuffy from crying. 

“Oh me sweet girl. I’m so sorry.” Sansa held her mother tighter and cried a little longer, enjoying the comfort of her mother’s arms until she calmed down enough to tell her what happened.

“Was it amicable?” she asked when she was through with the story. Sansa nodded.

“Pretty much. I actually was planning on breaking up with him already but I hadn’t had the courage to do it.” her mother nodded. “I don’t know why I’m so sad though. It’s what I wanted.” Catelyn nodded.

“He was your first real boyfriend honey, and he treated you well. What you feel is perfectly normal.” Sansa nodded, her throat tightening again.

“It’s normal to feel this miserable?” Catelyn chuckled.

“It’ll pass sweetheart, I promise. There will be others. You’re still very young, your whole life is ahead of you still.” Sansa nodded, she knew this, but it still hurt.

“Want me to stay with you tonight?” her mother asked. Sansa shook her head and took a deep breath, wiping the tears from her face. She was sure she looked a mess.

“No, I’ll be okay.” her mother nodded and kissed the top of her head before leaving. Sansa watched her door close before laying on her back and staring numbly at the ceiling, tears silently falling into her hair.

She heard her phone buzz from where she put it on her dresser. Half of her wanted to ignore it, the other half wondered who it could be. The latter won out so he got up to check. 

It was Jon.

Have a goodnight, Red. Talk to you tomorrow. 

Sansa smiled and sent back, Night, Black and added a heart emoji. She’d never sent one to him before, but she felt it would be okay now to send it. Her phone buzzed in her hand again and she smiled wider. He had replied with a heart of his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not my best writing, but I think it turned out okay. I honestly had written several versions of this chapter but none of them were setting up the way I envisioned the story going so they were scrapped.
> 
> Leave a comment letting me know what you think! Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Edit::: So i took some suggestions in the comments about wrongfully tagging a certain ship so I adjusted to keep everyone happy-ish?? Hope it helps.


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